Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Adventures in Dog Shit. It’s not just a meaningless phrase! Two members of my family happen not to be humans. Bruiser and Sierra are my dogs and their specialty is making huge piles of dog crap.

Like humans, they both have weird habits when they crap. Bruiser’s idiosyncracy is the way he walks around while taking a crap. He cops a squat, starts pooping, then something a few feet away gets his attention, so he does a squat-walk and leaves a trail of shit all over the place. This is a joy to clean up, especially when he does it on somebody’s lawn. Sierra’s oddity is the way her movements just seem to come upon her out of nowhere. We’ll be walking down the street at a good clip, and she’ll just come to a dead stop and start making brown toothpaste. She also tends to crap 2 or 3 times when you walk her. Really, a treat.

The joy of being the human here is that I get to pick up these treasures, which I’ve been doing on and off for the past 4+ years, since we lived in Albany. If only I could sell it…

Bruiser is a big boy, weighs around 110-120 at his summer weight, and he’s had problems with his back-right leg for a while. Lately he’s also been having problems with his back-left and front-right legs as well which is very sad. He refuses to do what (to a human) would be the obvious course of action and just stay off his legs and insists on walking all over the place, and jumping up onto the counter to get loaves of bread or whatever is in reach — or humping Sierra like there’s no tomorrow — further injuring himself. It’s painful to watch, especially when he limps over to me and starts pawing me with his bad leg, like “Hey man, this hurts, fix it please?” I wish I could. The ice on the ground certainly isn’t helping his leg, he keeps slipping, and absolutely insists on plowing through the snowbanks. I really have to yank his leash to keep him out.

Hopefully when the weather gets warmer things will get better.

Had roast beef and potatoes for dinner last night and it was deeeeelicious (I didn’t cook). I think the reason I like to cook is mostly the fact that I like to eat. Maybe pizza tonight… mmm…

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