Wednesday, February 23, 2005

I feel really old sometimes, and it doesn’t feel how I expected it to feel. I don’t think I was ever young. It’s really weird. I feel like I was born old. Maybe I’m some old dude reincarnated. It would be really reassuring to be able to think that; I guess that’s why people come up with shit like the afterlife and heaven and all that. I still want to go to Rome and stuff.

I used to have such lofty goals for myself. As I thought more about them, I realized they were pretty shitty goals, all things considered. I really don’t want to be a CEO, I think that takes an optimist and someone good at politics and slinging a lot of bullshit. That’s really what I used to want to be, like the CEO of Ford. A “Captain of Industry.” Man my mother latched onto that phrase. But when you’re 16 the world looks like a really exciting place. But then you find out about rent, cable, verizon, cell phone, gas, electric, laundry, bla bla bla. Have a bad experience or two and your outlook changes drastically. Make some dumb moves (sure… let’s drop out of college… k, great!) no matter how many times you’re told not to… Use lots of ellipses…

Anyway, just rambling. I love my proxy server. When you find yourself taking joy in setting up a proxy server accessed over an SSH tunnel so that you can use the internet securely, you begin to realize that maybe you’re not like the average person. I also hate hoes. My boss asked me if I wanted to go to a strip club the other day and the idea repulsed me. Why would you pay some skanky ho to rub her ass on you? Then what are you supposed to do? Not my idea of fun. I’m not a prude by any stretch of the imagination, but that is just nasty to me. If you want to do a ho then do one, but I’m not spending money to be teased. Not that I would pay a ho, but at least I can see a value in that service. Paying some girl to rub her ass on you is not something I’d even want done to me for free, nevermind paying for it.

Friendster is kind of neat.

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