No Job

Lost my job in April, it’s now almost August and I got nothin. Funny how the days run together when you have nothing to do all day. Hard to get out of bed in the morning really.


Hey, I am moving! Yay! I realize nobody cares, but, well, it is exciting. Should be out of our old place by August 1st. The new place is way nicer and as such the rent is 3x higher, but oh well.

Where are Google’s Kernel Modifications?

Everybody loves Google. Their search technology is great, and they generally seem to follow their credo of “Don’t Be Evil.” So they have tons of good karma built up, which leads me to ask the following question out of curiosity and without meaning to imply anything bad about Google.

Google now sells the Google Search Appliance, a 1U machine that sits on a corporate intranet and allows intranet users to search company documents with Google-esque speed and accuracy. And as we all know, Google itself runs on Linux, as does its appliance.

My question is, now that Google is selling a machine that runs Linux, don’t they have to also distribute any GPL code on the device — such as the Linux kernel, and any modifications they’ve made to it? I asked Google about this via their “request information” form, but have not yet received a reply. I guess since I expressed no interest in purchasing an appliance they skipped over my message. All google is required to do is provide the source code to the people who receive the binaries (if, in fact, they have modified and distributed any GPL code), which they may be doing, but since I don’t know anyone who has one of these, I can’t determine whether or not the source is provided with the device. There is no mention of the GPL or Linux in the appliance’s license terms, though the following clause IS there:

Any and all third party binary or source code included in the Product may be used only in conjunction with the Appliance, and such use shall be subject to all the terms and conditions of this Agreement. THE PRODUCT OR ANY PORTION THEREOF MAY NOT BE USED, COPIED, TRANSFERRED, OR MODIFIED EXCEPT AS EXPRESSLY PERMITTED BY THIS AGREEMENT.

Not exactly consistent with the GPL, is it? But like I said, Google has lots of good karma built up, so they get the benefit of the doubt. But… where’s the source?

Jibber Jabber

Ok, well, I haven’t written in this space in quite a while. I have been putting most of my thoughts on my own website, but the stuff that’s happened recently in my life seems better suited to this arena.

For the past couple of months my girlfriend’s mother has been having some health problems. I think in October she was diagnosed with pneumonia and it hasn’t really ever gone away. My girlfriend doesn’t really keep in close contact with her mom that often, usually they talk a couple of times a week over AIM I think. We live in NY and her mom lives in Florida. We don’t have long distance so AIM is really the most feasible option.

Anyhow, I guess around Monday of last week she went to see another doctor because she was coughing up some blood. She went in for tests and on Friday she was told she has cancer and there is a tumor in her lung. My girlfriend called me at work hysterical. She and her brother were trying to get a flight for that night but there were none. I rushed home and we packed and caught the 7:30 AM flight from JFK to west palm beach.

I have to make clear how terrified my girlfriend is of flying. She had never flown before in her life, and had no intention of ever doing so. Numerous trips of ours were called off because I don’t feel like wasting days on trains or driving and she is terrified of flying. But this time her mom wanted her to be there in case anything happened, so there was really no choice. Her plan was to get totally hammered before boarding the plane. But we had no alcohol in the house and when we got to JFK, there was no bar. So she was freaking out, but really it went fine and she was fine. It was a beautiful day and there was only a little turbulence. This was the first time I’d flown in like 5 years so I was a bit nervous myself.

So we got to West Palm Beach and I was glad I wore my convertible pants, which unzip at the knee and turn into shorts. It was 35 degrees in NY when we left, and it was easily 79 in FL. I did feel like an ass walking around with my coat, but oh well. We got the rental car and went directly to the hospital, which was like 20-30 minutes away.

The next few days were harrowing, and everyone was pretty much unsatisfied with the hospital. One doctor in particular was extremely bad, having told her she could die “at any time.” Then there was the oncologist, a surgeon, and eventually a radiologist and a couple more. But the incompetence of the primary doctor convinced my girlfriend, her brother, and their mother to move her to Sloan-Kettering in NYC, which is apparently the #1 cancer center in the country. After a bunch of BS, she was on the plane on Wednesday and in NYC by 6:00 pm that night. Of course, it couldn’t be that simple — the primary doctor in Florida hadn’t sent the referral like he had to and said he would, so they wouldn’t admit her. They went back the next day, and still no referral, still she couldn’t get in.

Today they had an appointment at 1:00 pm and I guess the doctor said “there’s a 30% chance you’ll live more than two years.” So everybody is generally depressed. It really sucks major ass. I don’t put much faith in what doctors say, no matter how famous or world-renowned they may be. But I’m not the one who received this news either.

So that is the latest catastrophe in our ongoing saga. I sometimes feel like there is a doomcloud following us around. We try to make the best of the situation, but jesus, what more can we be expected to do.

To add insult to injury, I asked my boss for a raise on Friday before I found out about this whole cancer ordeal. Then I had to leave work early and miss Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday of this week. Way to make an impression. Anyhow, I still think I’m worth it, I just hope he thinks so too. I am still drowning in debt and the job that my girlfriend almost had was cut by that motherfucker bloomberg, so again I am supporting 2 people and 2 dogs on a pittance. I have been trying to be strong, if only for my girlfriend’s sake, but sometimes I just honestly don’t know how much more I can take. Tomorrow we are waking up at 6:00 am and she is taking her mom in for a 9:30 appointment at sloan, and dropping me off at work on the way.

It is my sister’s birthday on Saturday and I promised her a TV-VCR combo which I cannot afford to get her. I have months worth of student loans still unpaid. George Bush is a stupid motherfucker who thinks tax cuts and more military spending are the cure for everything. I can’t believe how much slack the media are cutting him and Cheney when they fucking impeached Clinton for getting a blowjob. And you wonder why people hate republicans.

John Deep apparently wants the Mac Aimster source code from me, and I guess offered a whopping $350 for it! He owes me $7500. John, if you’re reading this, I will settle for $6,000. Then you can have it and I will wipe it completely from my hard drive. I have no use for it whatsoever, but I am not giving it to you until I get my money. The only copies of it in existence are PGP encrypted, so hax0ring me for them won’t do you any good.

I should probably write in this thing more frequently. Then I can look back with fascination at the different events in my life. But I really do not have the time nor the inclination to do so. Anyhow, I guess that’s a wrap for now. Oh yeah, and Aimster finally gave up to AOL and changed their name to ‘Madster’. Madeline = “Aimee” so Aimster -> Madster. Get it? My theory is proven once again — Aimster/Madster is just a vehicle for John to promote his daughter.

Adios señores y señoras. :-/

Ah well

The NYS department of labor is completely useless. I fund them with my tax dollars and they apparently go out of their way to not help me. They first found a way to screw me out of my unemployment, then told me they wouldn’t help me get the money Aimster owes me because I grossed over $600/week.

Anyhow, things seem to be going better in the rest of my life. Christmas is just around the corner and I basically haven’t paid any of my bills and instead bought christmas presents. Yeah, totally irresponsible of me, but my credit is already complete shit due to Aimster, so I really don’t care at this point.

The animosity I feel towards John, Bill Duker, and the rest of the Aimster execs hasn’t decreased much over the past few months. But after the department of labor refused to help me I was sort of at a loss. I don’t have the money to spend on a lawyer so it seems that at this point in time I’m just going to have to deal with this. Which of course sucks big time. But like I said, there’s not much I can do. I’ll look into contacting the NYS attorney general someday, but this time of year sucks.

Additionally, this company is comprised of the worst gaggle of idiots and crooks you’ll ever encounter. They take your money, do half a job, then when you ask them for help so that you can finish the other half yourself (remember, you paid them to do the whole thing!) they refuse and say it’s a technical support issue. Trust me on this. They are completely incompetent. Their website is filled with lies, such as their claim to have created some “ImageServer” technology. Their “ImageServer technology” is just ImageMagick.

On the brighter side, my girlfriend appears to have gotten a job which will apparently start in January, so hooray! Maybe now we can afford to live above ground! We’ve been living in a basement for quite some time, and it’s really getting to us both.

And also, Castle Wolfenstein is the best game in years. I command you to get it!

Merry Christmas, Chappy Chanukah, and… well, fuck Kwanzaa, it’s fake anyway. Chanukah too. Ok, Christmas too. Happy presnt-giving-day(s)! And Happy New Year!

Here’s what the American people should get for Christmas, since it’s been taken away recently. Adios!


I got this emailed to me today:

Date: Tue, 30 Oct 2001 10:06:38 -0500
From: Ed Kear <>
To: me
Subject: PI2 Options Agreement For me

Dear me,

The accompanying Word 2000 document is the forebearance agreement Bill Duker mentioned at the end of August. I received some of these back electronically back then, but not from everyone. To make this legal, you must return a hard copy version of it signed by you (I will sign it when returned) and mail it to me at Ideal Ventures. If you have any questions about any of this, feel free to call me at 518-434-6543 (Ideal Ventures Phone #).



Ideal Ventures
80 State St, 6th Floor
Albany, NY 12207

The following was attached:


Dear my name:

This letter acknowledges your agreement to accept an option to acquire 10 shares of Pi2, Inc. (the "Company") common stock, at an exercise price of $0.01, per share ("Salary Deferral Option") in full consideration for your agreement to defer receipt of salary owed to you for services you rendered to the Company prior to August 27, 2001, until the Company obtains financing in a minimum amount of $250,000.00. The Salary Deferral Option is immediately vested and may be exercised by you at any time during your employment, or within one year after you terminate your employment with the Company.

You have been advised that the Company is currently attempting to raise additional financing. You have also been advised that the Company may be unable to raise this additional financing.

You further agree to accept options to acquire shares of the Company's common stock ("Shares") at an exercise price of $0.01 per share, in addition to cash compensation for services rendered to the Company subsequent to August 27, 2001 (the "Salary Award Option"). The number of shares subject to your Salary Award Option shall be equal to your current salary rate for the period you perform services for the Company subsequent to August 27, 2001 divided by a per share price of $60.43 per Share. The Salary Option Award is also fully vested and may be exercised by you at any time during your employment, or within one year after you terminate employment with the Company.

If the terms of this agreement are acceptable to you, please sign both copies of this letter and return one signed copy to me.

Pi2, Inc.

By: __________________________
Edward Kear, CTO

Agreed and Accepted
this First day of September, 2001.

This is quite funny. Yes, I’ll give up my rights to the $7,500 you owe me in exchange for TEN SHARES OF STOCK! And their current value is ZERO! Sure, I’ll do that, right after MONKEYS FLY OUT OF MY ASS!

My dilemma now is, do I simply not reply, or do I reply and tell them to go to hell? God damn, what a fucking bunch of retards. I’m starting to think I should go after John Deep’s personal assets. Let that fucker rot in the street. That’s what he’s willing to let me do. He can whore his daughter to pay his goddamned $1500/month cell phone bill.